30 day challenge: day 8


*sheds a single Hamilton tear*

In seriousness though, I actually have a few of these, and I think it would make a more interesting post to include more than one (especially because they’re different kinds of satisfaction).

The first was when I first stepped off the bus in Portland, Oregon, about to have a weekend there all by myself – which I was nervous for, but so excited. I got there at 11am and couldn’t check into my hostel until 3pm, so I just spent those four hours wandering around downtown and taking in all the sights and the atmosphere.

It was so green compared to other cities in the States I’d been to before and the air was fresh from rain earlier in the day, still a little cloudy but warm and bright, and I just remember thinking I could probably spend my life there. I still miss Portland with every ounce of my being – it was the very first city that I actually spent time alone in and learned my way around, and it was so good to be somewhere I’d wanted to visit since I’d first heard of it with no restrictions except how much money I had and how much battery was on my phone for Google Maps.

When I went back with Nea, nothing – genuinely, nothing – beat sitting in a heated outdoor bath/pool with rum and coke and just laughing the night away, sitting in Powell’s with hot chocolate and poring over tattoo books, and exploring the city in the rain (and not giving a shit about the rain, either) alongside one of my best friends in the world. I felt so at home there and more free than I’ve ever felt before, and I’m always counting down the days until I can afford to go back.

The second was when Umby and me first met. I discussed it in detail on day 1 of this challenge, so I won’t go into it all again – but it was the first time I’d really clicked with someone so instantly.

The third was when I’d just handed in my dissertation last Friday, and I was able to stop and go, “holy shit, I did it.” I got through three years of University, made it out the other side, and I’m pretty damned proud of myself for pushing through even when I wanted to quit. It felt so good to just … be done. Weird, sure, but so good.

And the last is … not so much a moment as an everyday occurrence. When Umby comes home from work and we have dinner and snuggle on the couch before we end up doing our own things for the evening, it reminds me that even if everything else is fucked, I’m so lucky to have someone to look forward to seeing every day, and someone who loves me as much as I love them and doesn’t hold back on showing it.

So, enough sap from me – Umby let me download Sims 4 on his desktop and I am determined to spend the next three days doing nothing else.


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